tired...didnt slept well yesterday...knowing i have econs test today, i have to study but nth gets into my brain..i juz cant focus...i juz happen to wake up early at 4 plus, so i juz read through the notes...then sleep again for 1/2 hr...i dunno...i juz kept waking up in the middle of the night...1 plus woke up, 3 plus woke up..4 plus woke up...i hope i'll have a better slept tonight...but in my current situation, can i?

i dunno wad to do...i tried really hard not to spoil susan's day...coz it is her birthday...i tried not showing that sad face of mine..."soups" tell me i spoil her day...i was really sad...coz i really didnt want susan to be sad, especially during her birthday...sorry pear...i control and control and control, till some frenz told me something...i was devastated, i was lost, i was reeally shock...pls tell me wad they've heard isnt true...i dun want it to be true...I DUN WANT! DUN WANT!!! i know i should believe my frenz, but i keep lying to myself that it isnt true...pls...dun let it be true...[ to my frenz: sorry, not that i dun wanna believe you, is i really hope it isnt the truth... ] it will be the worst lie i've ever heard.... i'm so disappointed and it hurts so much to know that.... i dunno wad to do... i'm really lost...
after knowing all those things, faking a smile wasnt easy anymore...
if it is the truth, then i hope to hear the truth from that person personally...pls if you lied, which i hope you didnt, dun lie anymore...
and i cant believe wad you say and wad you text is different...y am i hearing all these things now??? it is time for me to know...
i'm sorry that i've hurt you yesterday...i know i will never be forgiven...juz take care of yourself will you? haix...
bye....