yesterday didnt update...
it was a long day for me...wanted to complete all my works but i couldn't...couldn't concentrate...my mind was full of memories...full of him...every min i had to pull myself back to work...in the end...i onli finish a pathetic econs for the whole entire day...useless me...
the day was long...i was always clinging on to my hp...always checking it...every msg beep were full of empty hopes...till night came =) the wait was worthwhile =)
was lying down..trying to study chinese...my chinese aint good...have difficulty in reading chinese...but still struggled, tried to finish reading "zhe li zhen an jing"...while reading, kor kor came...sat beside me...suddenly he pat my head...like how daddy and mummy used to pat my head to sleep in the past...now kor kor did the same thing to me...well, it seems like a normal "sayang" from kor...but at that very moment, my heart melts, felt so touched that i teared but kor kor didnt know...[coz he was also studying while patting my head...] somehow while he pats my head it gave me a feeling that he was trying to tell me "ger ah, don't be sad...everything will be fine soon...kor kor will always be here for you...even if the sky falls, kor kor will oso support it for you...accompany you through all the obstacles...so don't worry...don't despair...you're not alone...kor here with you" well, maybe i was really thinking too much...but that was how much i needed his care...coz his actions made me feel loved...i really appreciate to have a kor like him...coz i know, though this are juz my imagination thoughts, he will really do so when it is in reality...
yesterday, my day ended off happily...i don't wish to ask for more...juz those msg will do =)

today...
started of my day, having one goal in my mind...open my mouth and speak! but the useless me didn't...i dunno wad am i doing...wad was stopping me??? wad was i afraid??? when isn't the time for me to talk, i can't keep my bloody mouth shut...now when i am suppose to talk, i kept my mouth shut...really useless...wads so difficult about talking??? talking non stop was my daily routine in secondary school...but y not now??? i don't want to be like that...i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore...
today, i was really tired and my stomach really hurts...half way, i really feel like leaving school...thats why after school i went home immediately...can't take it...wanna eat medicine...
can see a major difference in me between early noon and late noon...from an expression-less face to a smiling face...coz that smile of yours, makes a thousand difference...
sigh...i got a bad feeling...somethings gonna happen...haix...
i wish that time would stop at may, 7th may...
shall end here, good bye...